Who Designed the Life You Are Living?

One of the biggest themes running through my books is the idea of questioning the life we have been told to want.

Most of us are given a version of success before we are old enough to decide what success means to us.

We are shown the expected route: education, work, progression, money, property, responsibility and approval.

There is nothing automatically wrong with that route.

The problem comes when we never stop to ask whether it is actually right for us.

I am fascinated by how many of our decisions are influenced by expectations we did not create.

What should a successful woman look like?

What should a serious business look like?

How much money should be enough?

What age should we achieve certain things?

How busy should we be before our ambition is taken seriously?

Who decided these rules?

The Systems We Live Within

In Lumen, I explore the idea of an artificial or manufactured world.

The characters begin questioning whether the reality around them is as natural as they once believed.

Although it is fiction, the deeper idea is something I think about in real life.

We all live within systems.

There are systems around employment, money, education, family, status, beauty, gender and success.

Some systems are necessary. Society needs structure and businesses need processes.

But I think it is important to remember that systems were created by people. They are not always fixed laws that must be followed without question.

A traditional career is one possible route.

Starting a business is another.

Building several businesses is another.

Creating books, products or brands can be another.

There is not one single correct life.

The moment you understand that, you begin to see how much choice you may actually have.

Looking Successful Is Not the Same as Feeling Free

Social media has made it very easy to display success.

People see the launch, the business, the finished product, the book cover, the house or the exciting announcement.

They do not always see the pressure, risk, mistakes or uncertainty behind it.

That can create a situation where people begin performing success instead of defining it.

They pursue goals because the goals look impressive.

They build lives designed to gain approval.

They reach the thing they thought they wanted and then realise it has not created the feeling they expected.

This is one of the biggest ideas behind Freedom of Success.

I believe ambition is a brilliant thing, but it needs to be conscious.

What are you actually trying to create?

Why do you want it?

What will achieving it give you?

What will it require from you?

Will it create more freedom, or will it create another structure you feel unable to leave?

These can be uncomfortable questions, but they matter.

There is no point creating a life that looks successful to everybody else but feels wrong to the person living it.

Business Can Create Freedom or Remove It

Entrepreneurship is often sold as the ultimate route to freedom.

It can be.

Starting a business allows you to create something around your own ideas, strengths and vision.

You can build a brand you believe in. You can choose the direction. You can potentially create more independence and control over your future.

But a business can also become another type of trap.

A founder can leave employment to gain freedom and then create a company that cannot operate without them for a single day.

They make every decision, solve every problem and carry every responsibility.

That is why I believe systems, delegation and strong teams matter so much.

This is one of the ideas behind Pretty Little Business.

The visible side of business may be the branding, marketing and product, but the real strength sits underneath it.

A business needs structure.

It needs financial control.

It needs processes.

It needs people who understand their responsibilities.

It needs to become something that can eventually stand on its own.

Working hard at the beginning is often unavoidable. I do not believe in pretending success is effortless.

But the hard work should be building towards something.

It should be creating an asset, not just a permanent job with your name on it.

Women Are Given Contradictory Instructions

Another subject I touch on throughout my books is identity, especially the expectations placed on women.

Women are told to be confident but not intimidating.

Ambitious but not obsessed.

Successful but still endlessly available.

Attractive but not too aware of it.

Direct but never difficult.

Strong but always soft enough to keep everybody comfortable.

It is impossible to satisfy every expectation.

At some point, you have to decide who you actually are.

In Pretty Little Business, I challenge the belief that women need to fit one narrow image to be taken seriously.

In Steel Boots, I explore the strength required to continue when life or other people try to reduce your confidence.

In Act Like a Lawyer, I look at the importance of protecting your position through clear thinking and communication.

All of these books come back to a similar message: stop editing yourself to fit rules that do not serve you.

Becoming Aware Can Be Uncomfortable

Awakening is a major theme in Lumen, but I think awakening happens in real life too.

It may not be one dramatic moment.

Sometimes it is simply realising that something you once wanted no longer fits you.

You may realise you do not want the career you spent years building.

You may see that a relationship or environment only works when you remain small.

You may recognise that the goal you are chasing belongs to an older version of you.

You may admit that something which looks impressive is not making you happy.

That awareness can feel uncomfortable because it creates responsibility.

Once you know something needs to change, continuing in exactly the same way is no longer completely accidental.

That does not mean you need to change your whole life overnight.

Small decisions can start something much bigger.

One new boundary can change a relationship.

One business idea can change your direction.

One application can create an opportunity.

One hour spent writing, planning or building can become the beginning of something completely new.

Decide What Success Means to You

I do not believe we need to reject every traditional idea or system.

I believe we need to examine them.

Keep what works for you.

Question what does not.

Change what is limiting you.

Success means something different to everybody.

For me, it is not only about achievement. It is also about creating, building, having choices and knowing that the life surrounding my work still belongs to me.

That is what connects my business books, personal development writing and fiction.

They all ask readers to look more closely.

Look at the rules.

Look at the expectations.

Look at the life you are building.

Then ask yourself one honest question:

How much of it have I consciously chosen?